what you do for one you should do for all.

So basically I am the oldest of 6 children I have 3 biological siblings and then two step siblings.  My Mom started dating my stepdad when his kids where 2 & 4 there is a 15 age difference between my and the youngest. Well lets just say that they younger four where definitely raised differently then My sister L and I (who are 14 months apart).  There are 6 Grandchildren total between the three girls in my biofamily) Well that all comes into play but I guess we will have to slowly introduce the family drama on here. Lets just say that My mom just told me that she is taking my youngest sisters two older (3&5) kids to Disney in October. Not my kid and not L's just the two. With no preface or excuse that she will take any of the others at another time. Just the rational "well their mother won't ever be able to afford to take them" Now my sister L doesn't have a lot of money either and can't afford to take her kids now but is a hard worker has like three jobs and tries really hard to provide for her kids and has a plan to take them in two years.  This is one example in a million of how My sister L & I get treated differently because we are responsible human beings and take care of our $hit and try to work hard and get ahead. My kid had been to Disney she went when she was 9month old and I will take her its not about that its the PRINCIPLE.. Anyway my rationale here is if you  only have one she will be treated equally....

Lets get started

Well this is my first time trying to blog so we will see how it goes.  I wanted to start by giving you a little background about me and what this blog will be about. Basically this will be a place where I will post my rationale for being "one and done" in the Child department. You see I always wanted two children but as more of my life/family drama unfolds I am slowly convincing myself that maybe I would be OK with just one. I have struggled with infertility and when i mean "struggled" i mean it took 20 months with the assistance of medication and a reproductive endocrinologist, some of those months with not so comfortable and invasive appointments and procedures.  But in the grand scheme of Infertility I got off easy,  I have friends who have undergone way more expensive, invasive procedures, and heartaches and still don't have a take home baby.  So in a way I feel like i am tempting fate by asking to try all over again. I look back on how I was during the "struggle" and I didn't like who I became because of the meds, disappointments and jealousy. SO one of the main reasons that i really don't want to sign up for it all over again. Part of me thinks that if I decided that i am done having children that i will have closure and that it won't be as hard than if I go through treatments for a second and it doesn't happen.  Well I will try and log in regularly and update with my thoughts.